Why Cats Are Not Allowed in Offices

I brought my beloved spider plant — which I've nurtured and loved for over a year since I first brought it to Fatwallet HQ — home during the Fatwallet move. In less than two hours, our cats had begun mauling it. This is the story of how ended up in the photo.

OK, so two days before the big move, I put the plant in a box and brought it home. I set it on the desk in my office, wondering where I could put it where the cats wouldn't get it. Forgetting, of course, that it was now vulnerable. Wandering off, I sealed its fate.

I came back an hour and half later to find someone had already snacked on it. The horror! It was getting late, so I put the plant back in the box, and put the box in the closet. Why I didn't just move the food bowls and shut the door, I don't know. When I got the plant out of the closet the next day, I realized I'd crushed some of the leaves. Crap.

Well, moving along. Since it was a nice day, I put the plant outside. And forgot to bring it in, as it got cold that night. Imagine what that caused! Several days of in and out later, the beasts kept finding creative ways to munch on it while I wasn't looking. At one point, I did indeed move their food bowls and shut the door (there's a shelf in the office that is the only place in the house the dog can't reach their bowls). Sadly, this didn't last long.

Well, here we are, almost two weeks later. Not only did this spider plant endure being chewed on repeatedly, it was crushed and frozen. So far, it's still alive. Chopped to hell, but alive. It'll be going back to Fatwallet soon,  but in the meantime, it's refuging in a tiny aquarium with a screen top.

Oh, the point? I now know why cats are not allowed in most offices. It's not because people don't like cats. It's not because people are allergic to cats. It's because cats will, for no reason other than they can, eat the office plants. And paper. And whatever else they can get their teeth on.