6.14.2011

A Candid Moment


This is new to me. I'm uncomfortable, and I don't like it.

I have been thin my entire life. I was an underweight child and teen,  I barely hit 120 lbs by the time I turned 25. Now, I'm pushing 130.

I hear those hisses and boos. Up yours.

See, here's my issue. I was thrilled when I was no longer underweight — let me tell you, it's just as hard being the scrawny kid as the fat kid. (Remember the Tawny Scrawny Lion? Yeah, really.)

I'm not short by any means. I was my great-gramma's Little Bean Pole. Then I grew up, sightly above average height and was still a bean pole. Great.

I could tell you all about life as a skinny girl, but I won't. If you think being thin is amazing and awesome, it is. But it has it's downsides, too. For instance, check out this blog post by my friend, Jen. She sums up the icky social bits nicely. Maybe I'll throw in the one crazy story I have, but not today. Today is a brief struggle.

Over the last few years, I put on a pound or two. I haven't exercised regularly, so I wasn't surprised, nor alarmed. The last few weeks, however, have put me in panic mode. Somewhere between March and now, I've added five pounds to my thighs.

My thighs have never touched. Ever. Now, they do. And crossing my legs is uncomfortable. Shut up, I'm not asking for sympathy I know I won't get. I'm exploring this new... thing. This new thing I hope to make go away. At least mostly. At worst, get used to it and keep it under control.

Sure, I'm getting older. I'm not sure if it's age, the med I've been on the last six years, or both that finally caught up to me. Either way, I'm considering this a gentle wake-up call. I've been making a meager effort to eat better, but I haven't put nearly enough effort into exercise.

It's time I put more effort into myself. I finally have the available time, and for the first time in five years I'm not severely stressed wondering when I will work next. The house is finally getting cleaner, which means I'm doing something besides staring at a screen all day.

Great start. Now to kick it up a notch.